If It's Love
by Kimisha
Summary: Jensen Ackles reflects on the past year. Meeting his new co-star Misha Collins has changed his life and while confusion rained down on Jensen for months, he is finally accepting exactly what Misha means to him. One end of season wrap party is about to change everything. WARNING FOR RPS SLASH, JENSENxMISHA!
1. Chapter 1

**If it's Love**

**Plot: ** Jensen Ackles reflects on the past year. Meeting his new co-star Misha Collins has changed his life and while confusion rained down on Jensen for months, he is finally accepting exactly what Misha means to him. One end of season wrap party is about to change everything. WARNING FOR RPS SLASH, JENSENxMISHA!

Warnings

This is an RPS fanfic, which means REAL PERSON SLASH – YES THIS MEANS JENSEN ACKLES/MISHA COLLINS (Cockles if you will!) If you are creeped out by it or turned off, then turn away now. If you are all for it, then please I encourage you to read on…

Most importantly if you are UNSURE about it, then let me try to sell this to you in the best way I possibly can and see if I can sway you in my direction…

Here are some key points…

I do not believe in any way, shape or form that these situations have ever occurred in real life or ever would. I am very respectful of the actors and this story is purely for entertainment purposes for the fandom that ship RPS couples.

The wives do NOT feature in this story. Let me just say I adore Danneel & I adore Vicki and would never write a story involving them in any 'heart-breaking' situations like divorce plot lines or a plot about cheating on their other halves. The only real couple to feature in this fic is Jared & Gen. for my fictional story…Jensen & Misha are very much single!

The story is what it says on the tin…it's a story. Not fact, not truth…simply a fictional story, made up by me! Though the actors are very much the same as real life, with a few twists, adjustments and turns. They may be slightly outside of their actual personalities too (although I try to stick to their real life traits as much as possible).

Warnings for the fic? Not much…just that it is an RPS and there will be possible graphic sex. This is a 3 chapter only fanfic, designed to be fluffy, cute & hot!

Last but not least…this is here for you to enjoy! It's a different way of writing to the usual Destiel stories I am used to, instead of portraying Dean & Castiel, I am writing that of the actors who play them. If it makes you feel more comfortable…think of it as French Mistake style!

I think that's all I have to say, figured it would be best to explain to my regular readers before I charge in with the fic, this is something new! I am a Destiel writer, but I do also ship Cockles and this is my first Cockles fic I have uploaded, so please be open minded and please be nice.

Reviews are encouraged; I'd love to hear all of your thoughts and opinions.

The fic will start in the next chapter…so click to continue!

ENJOY!

x


	2. Chapter 2

**If It's Love**

**Chapter 1 of 3**

_**June 2009…**_

Another year done and dusted.

Jensen Ackles was feeling proud and accomplished. Himself, Jared and the Supernatural crew had wrapped on their fourth season, signed on already for season five and if season four ratings were anything to go by so far, the next season was sure to be a hit with the fans too…especially with what they had planned.

The end of season wrap party was a known tradition and usually they would hold it somewhere big and fancy, with perhaps some cameras and press along for the ride. This year was different, Jared had recently bought a new house in Vancouver and was looking to show it off, as a result the party had been delayed for a month or so to co-inside with Jared's house warming and giving them a more private location for the party.

When initially told of Jared's plan, both Jensen and the head crew members were a little taken back, fair to say most of them told Jared he was brave and wished him the best of luck getting so many people into his house.

The moment Jensen first stepped foot inside of said house, he was no longer worried for his best friend…needless to say, it was a LARGE house to fit the equally large moose that had purchased it.

Now the big night was upon them all, Jensen strolled up to the front door and let himself in. Jensen was both polite and sometimes reserved, but he had no issues with walking straight into Jared's house without knocking. They were practically brothers after all.

The noise was instant, the sounds of people and music filled the house, Jensen knew immediately the turnout was just as successful as every other wrap party. He strolled down the long corridor, passing a few crew members he was very familiar with and a few he was polite to, but couldn't quite remember their names. Supernatural took a big production team and Jensen was just one person, he couldn't remember everyone!

As Jensen made his way into the kitchen area, he was immediately glomped from behind by an over excited 6 foot something of Jared Padalecki.

"DUDE! Finally…people have been waiting for you" Jared cried out loudly, a big grin plastered on his face and extracting himself from Jensen with a clap on the back.

"I highly doubt that, looks like the party is already in full swing." Jensen said with a returning smile and glancing around the filled kitchen area, sneaking a look towards the living room which was full of crew members and cast members new and old.

"It's an awesome turnout man, I'm really happy…Julie is here…oh and Matt…Amy too…even Richard has pitched up." Jared reeled off cast members happily, pointing briefly in their direction.

Jensen spotted them, giving them a small wave and a smile. He glanced around further and noticed much to his disappointment that a certain someone wasn't here, at least not that he could see…

He turned back to Jared and noted Genevieve walking up, smiling in his direction. She stopped next to Jared, who leant down to give her a kiss in greeting and pulling back with the biggest shit eating grin Jensen had ever seen. The cat that most definitely got the cream and Jensen felt a slight pang of jealously that he hadn't found his 'one' yet.

"Hey Jensen, it's so good to see you" Gen said turning to greet him with a hug and a big smile.

"You too Gen, it's been a while" Jensen said, returning the hug.

Truth was it had been a while, Jared and Gen had flirted outrageously from the moment she was cast as Ruby 2, this soon led to dating and now they were 6 months into their relationship and happier than ever. Jensen was invited to a dinner party with Jared's close friends and family, were Jared had officially announced Gen was his girlfriend, of course Jensen already knew this but it was nice to be included regardless. Jensen really liked Genevieve, she was perfect in every way for Jared, her and Jensen got along well but since she finished up on set they hadn't seen each other in a couple of months which was a shame.

"Too long" She said, pulling back from the hug and smiling.

Jensen knew she and Jared would make it, they just seemed so perfectly content and a lot had escalated in this past year, not just for his best friend but Jensen too.

"Hey Jay…is Misha here yet?" Jensen asked curiously, his eyes still darting around the house.

"Yup he got here ages ago…he was asking about you" Jared stated, a little distracted by cuddling his current girlfriend.

Jensen felt his stomach flip and his eyes widened, shooting back to Jared.

"He was?" he asked with an audible gulp, which Gen quietly noted with a hint of suspicion and Jared didn't notice at all, simply nodded.

"Well, where is he?" Jensen asked again, his eyes continuing their search.

Before his answer could come, he spied Misha across the room and his whole world seemed to slow right down.

Misha Collins was the main source of Jensen's big changes that occurred this year and the man didn't even know it.

_**July 2008…**_

It had been a trying year in many ways, right before season four began shooting Jensen made two big changes in his life. He bought a permanent location in Vancouver, his one bedroom apartment was a drastic downsize from his LA home, but he felt much more relaxed in Canada and was content in having a small apartment for himself. This resulted in his next big change, after two years of dating on and off, Jensen broke it off with a long term girlfriend who he had begun to realise most definitely wasn't right for him and he had hit the point of no return, wanting out of the situation altogether. Surprisingly he wasn't all that torn up about it and she didn't seem too shocked either, so they moved on with their own lives.

Now for a fresh start, they were two weeks into the filming of Supernatural's fourth season and today they got a brand new guest star.

Days like this were always exciting; getting to act alongside a newcomer was always refreshing and today was Jensen's turn. Jared wasn't needed for the scenes this morning; it was Jensen, Jim Beaver and this new guy…Misha Collins.

Jim and Jensen were currently chatting away on set, waiting on the new arrival while camera crews got set up around them. Neither actor had met Misha yet, so it would be a joint experience for them both. They didn't have too long to wait as the director and co-exec producer walked the newbie towards the set.

First thing Jensen could see was a tan trench coat…

*Really? That's what they're making an angel of the lord wear?*

Next thing was a mass of dark brown, almost black hair on top of the guy's head…

When the men finally came to a stop in front of Jensen and Jim, the director greeted them briefly before rushing off to set up for the day and left the producer to introduce the new meat.

Jensen heard the name 'Misha Collins' and 'Angel Castiel' amongst the rambling coming from the producers mouth and he was vaguely aware of Jim stepping forward to shake hands with Misha, but as of 10 seconds ago when they were first approached Jensen had immediately been swept in by a pair of big blue eyes in front of him and those eyes belonged to that of their new co-star Misha Collins.

*Dayum*

He was shaken out of his trance when Misha extended a hand towards him in greeting with a beaming smile that almost knocked the breath out of Jensen.

"Nice to meet you Jensen, I'm Misha"

Jensen stared at the hand for a moment, before remembering his manners and extending his own to shake it firmly.

"Good to meet you too, welcome to the set" Jensen said shakily, his brain clearly not having caught up to the situation at hand.

Misha smiled in his direction and Jim immediately started with the small talk, getting to know their new co-star.

Jensen listened and nodded along, while his brain finally caught up and he mentally slapped himself for acting like a school girl with a crush.

Firstly Misha was a guy, Jensen was a straight man and he couldn't quite explain why he got so caught up in a fellow dudes blue eyes, so he swept it to one side and put it down to being open minded and appreciative of a good looking man when he seen one. It didn't mean anything.

When Jensen heard Misha say he was not married and very much single, not being able to help the smile that tugged at his lips. Jensen still stuck to his words…it didn't mean anything.

Secondly Misha was a guest on his show; Jensen should be making a better impression instead of simply staring at the guy and freaking him out. Besides Misha was down as a 'guest star' which meant he would probably only feature in one or two episodes tops. The tiny pang of disappointment that swirled in Jensen's stomach at the thought?…it still didn't mean a thing.

Jensen sorted himself out enough to be normal and welcoming for Misha, shooting started soon after.

He immediately loved Castiel, everything about the character screamed badass warrior of God and Misha pulled it off perfectly. They bounced amazingly well off each other and the instant chemistry between the two was electric, enough so that the director was applauding their hard work and the fact they got through the scenes quickly and efficiently.

The change in Misha's voice for his character was a surprise…and if someone had asked Jensen why he started to blush…he would deny it.

It didn't mean anything.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

As months rolled by both Castiel & Misha became more and more popular with the fandom. Turns out that Jensen wasn't the only one who thought so and this led to Misha's contract being extended until the end of season four at least and rightly so.

Jensen and Jared had grown close to Misha in the past few months of working together, leading to outings outside of the Supernatural set and plenty of 'getting to know each other' drinking sessions.

But as Genevieve and Jared started to date, he would spend more time out with her and less time out with the boys. Which for Jensen meant a lot of alone time with Misha and while this didn't seem like a bad thing to everyone else; to Jensen it was driving him insane.

From those first moments on set, Jensen had an internal battle going on inside of his head and Misha was the cause of that, even though the guy had absolutely no idea.

It started with the staring, Jensen couldn't help it…Misha was something else entirely and what started as 'appreciation for a good looking man' soon turned into 'This guy is hot and I am so screwed.' Jensen kept brushing aside his attraction but after months of trying, it soon became evident that he was most definitely crushing on his very male co-star. Commence the freak out.

It wasn't just the look of Misha, it was just HIM in general. They had become great friends, talked about pretty much everything and spent a lot of time together which was entirely unexpected. Misha was witty, intelligent, crazy in the best possible way and the most unique human being that Jensen had ever met.

The day Jensen finally gave into his crush was the night he sat alone in his apartment and watched the first episode of season four air on the CW.

Realisation hit him like a ton of bricks as he watched Misha on screen and he couldn't deny it to himself anymore. The state of confusion was almost nauseating and Jensen's whole life felt like it was turning upside down in slow motion, was he always destined to swing this way? Is that why previous girlfriends had been nothing to him?

Questions weighed heavily on his mind, but for tonight…he let the denial slip away and a huge weight lifted from his own shoulders.

That night he recorded the premiere episode and he replayed the scene between Dean & Castiel at least ten times…

The last time he watched it; he jerked off and came loudly with Misha's name on his lips.

Jensen cursed himself three days later when he had to film alongside Misha and when Castiel's voice made its appearance, Jensen found it took all of his willpower to tame Jensen Junior from standing to attention.

If anyone noticed…it went unsaid.


	3. Chapter 3

**Ok before I continue, I just want to say you guys have no idea how much I want to hug you all right now! **

**So many people followed & favourite this story overnight and I'm so thankful to you all and especially to the people who took the time to review it so far! You guys rock so much!**

**I'm extremely glad y'all are in support of this fic and hope you continue to read and review!**

**Enjoy this chapter guys and thank you! xoxoxox**

**If It's Love**

**Chapter 2 of 3**

_**June 2009…**_

"I'm just gonna go say hey to Misha, haven't really spoken to him in the last month or so…" Jensen started, patting Jared on the arm and flashing a quick smile to Gen.

The smile soon faded and Jensen's feet stopped before he had barely made it two paces, the crowds had moved a little bringing into his view a tall, busty brunette girl and she was talking…no flirting quite obviously with Misha.

"What's up man?"

Jensen heard Jared's question from behind him somewhere; his focus mostly zoomed in on Misha and the mystery girl. His stomach flipped unpleasantly at the sight of the girl running her hand up and down Misha's arm.

Jensen felt a hand come down on his shoulder and turned sharply away from the scene in front of him, coming face to face with Genevieve.

"You ok Jensen?" Gen asked, concern filling her voice.

He felt like an idiot, so Jensen plastered on a big re-assuring smile and a nod of his head.

"Yeah of course, I just…I didn't want to interrupt umm…whose the girl?" Jensen stuttered slightly through his words and vaguely motioned in the direction of Misha.

Jared and Gen both followed the sight and nodded in acknowledgement.

"That's my cousin Mandy; she kinda invites herself to my parties…in her words there is always guaranteed to be 'hot American red blooded males' at my parties. She's a pain in the ass most of the time…but hey, family for ya" Jared explained, watching Mandy flirt shamelessly with Misha, who didn't seem to mind all that much.

Jensen frowned slightly and chanced a look over his shoulder, to see Mandy still very much plastered to Misha and winced at the sight before turning back to his friends.

"Right, awesome…I guess I'll stay here until Misha drags himself away to mingle properly." He said through gritted teeth and a false smile.

Genevieve smiled back; a tight lipped, almost uncomfortable smile and Jensen couldn't help but notice. Was she onto him and his little crush?

Who was he kidding, BIG crush.

Jared simply shrugged and took a large swig of his beer, completely unaware of Jensen's upset.

Gen had no idea why Jensen was acting so weird, but she would be damned if she couldn't figure it out by the end of the night.

"Look sweetie, he's just talking to her…just go say Hi, Misha will be happy to see you I swear" Gen prompted Jensen, with a small re-assuring smile and a gentle push in the right direction.

Jensen swallowed the nerves in his throat, Gen was right…of course she was right, it's just Misha.

"True…ok, yeah…I'll be right back guys" Jensen said firmly, with a final nod and a quick smile to Gen, he started towards his intended destination.

Jensen followed his line of sight, working slowly through the sea of people and keeping his focus on Misha. He had decided since filming came to an end over a month ago, that he would go visit his family in LA until the wrap party rolled around and Jensen figured it would be for his own good to get away from Misha for a little while.

The feelings Jensen had developed and come to terms with almost a year ago, he was sure they would disappear over time…fade into nothing and yet he couldn't have been more wrong. The more time he spent with Misha, the stronger his feelings had gotten and there was no chance of him denying it to himself anymore…although he did keep it to himself, nobody had a clue…not even Jared and definitely not Misha.

After deciding to 'have a break' from his friend for the past month, take his mind off Misha…visit family, old friends and basically stay away from his cell phone and email so he wasn't tempted to contact Misha in that time. Needless to say it was a difficult month and the end result was now, staring at the man he tried to get away from, get out of his head and the feelings were back instantly, they seemed to be worse than ever and it didn't feel as though they were budging anytime soon.

Jensen came to a stop behind Misha and extended his shaking hand out to tap him on the shoulder. The moment Misha felt someone try to get his attention; he spun around and away from Mandy.

"Jensen!" Misha declared loudly, a big smile gracing his features and Jensen would be damned if he didn't say that smile was the best thing to he had seen for a while.

He was suddenly pulled into a strong hug by Misha, it wasn't the 'Bromance' kind of hug Jensen was used to, the usual manly pat on the back etc that he received from his other male friends…this was a Misha hug through and through, he was a firm believer that a hug should be a proper hug, none of this macho crap.

Another reason that Jensen adored Misha.

Jensen reached around and hugged Misha back, his arms wrapping securely around his friend, not being able to help the way his head tucked into Misha's neck, breathing in everything that he had missed over this past month and relishing the fact he felt Misha grin against his shoulder.

His eyes darted up to see a bored looking Mandy over Misha's shoulder and Jensen reluctantly pulled away with a cough.

"It's good to see you Mish" Jensen said with a genuine smile.

Misha returned the grin and reached out to squeeze Jensen's shoulder.

"You too, hey let's grab a beer…you can tell me all about visiting your family" Misha said, keeping a firm hold of Jensen's shoulder and was about to start to leading them towards the kitchen.

Jensen's eyes darted back to Mandy who was coughing for attention; Misha stopped in his tracks and looked back to her.

"Whoops sorry Mandy, got distracted. This is Jensen, although you probably already know that…Jensen this is Jared's cousin Mandy" Misha said awkwardly introducing them.

Mandy's face lit up in a wide smile and she grabbed Jensen's hand which was hanging by his side and shook it.

"It's so good to finally meet you Jensen, my cousin talks about you a lot." She said, flipping her hair with her free hand.

Jensen focused on their joined hands for a moment and let them drop. He looked up with a tight lipped smile.

"Umm good to meet you too…can't say Jared has ever mentioned you before…but good to meet you anyway" Jensen said calmly, hearing Misha chuckle beside him and Mandy's face dropped slightly.

She coughed awkwardly and took a step back, keeping her fake smile in place.

"Right…well I'm sure you guys have more important things to talk about."

Both Jensen and Mandy shifted on their feet, the uncomfortable situation reaching new heights.

"Ok then, introductions out of the way. Mandy I'll maybe catch you later…Jensen and I have some catching up to do" Misha spoke up finally, with a clap of his hands and making Jensen jump slightly, yet he had never been more thankful in that moment.

Before Mandy had a chance to answer, Misha grabbed hold of Jensen's elbow and led him towards the kitchen.

"You can always stay…I didn't mean to…"

"Are you kidding me Jen? I should be thanking you…anyways, let's grab a couple of beers" Misha said, leaning into Jensen and mumbling his response.

Jensen beamed at that, his smile reaching new levels and he nodded at Misha's statement, following beside his friend.

Soon enough they had a beer in hand and were stood outside on Jared's balcony.

"Since when was Jared the kinda guy who got a balcony…you can just imagine him and Gen re-enacting Romeo and Juliet…I can see it now"

Jensen laughed at the images Misha was projecting into his brain right now and shrugged his shoulders. Of course this is how Misha Collins starts their conversations.

"So…Jensen, you don't call…you don't write…what's up with that?" Misha asked calmly, a ghost of a smirk playing across his lips as he took a swig of beer.

Jensen chuckled again, his insides jumping in excitement just relishing in being close to Misha again, it had been awhile since they conversed over a beer.

"Sorry man left my phone behind…dedicated some time to the family. Why…you miss me?" Jensen answered with a grin, his voice laced with amusement and his heart laced with a tiny bit of hope.

He glanced over to Misha who was leaning casually against the railings; Jensen felt his heart skip a beat at the sight…why did the guy always have to be so god damn cool?

Misha lifted his head and met with Jensen's eyes, a serious expression on his face.

"Of course I missed you…"

Jensen felt his stomach do a full 360 degree turn at the response and before he could answer Misha continued.

"…You're never allowed to leave me…ever again. I had absolutely nobody to annoy in the past month…that will not do."

Of course Misha was pissing around, that's what Misha did. He broke into a wide smile and nudged Jensen.

There was an honest sentiment in Misha's voice, but the truth was Jensen figured Misha was probably out doing some crazy shit with his actual friends and didn't really give Jensen a second thought.

He returned the smile and nudged Misha back regardless.

"I missed you too Mish" He said with an almost sad smile. Coming from Jensen it was the God's honest truth.

"N'awww…guess next time you go away, you'll have to keep in touch. Besides you don't have much time to miss me now that you're back in good old VC...good times ahead and not long until we're up and filming again, you're not getting rid of me that easily." Misha rambled, taking a place next to Jensen and resting his elbows on the railings, mirroring his Co-stars position.

Jensen ducked his head laughing and nodded, his spirits picking up at the mention of season five and the fact he's clearly not getting rid of Misha anytime soon.

And he is more than Ok with that.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

One beer and some boring family talk later, Jensen and Misha were heading back to the kitchen for another bottle.

Misha pulled two more beers from the fridge and handed one to Jensen who was leaning on the kitchen counter, observing the now drunken antics from his fellow workers. Misha snorted a laugh, following Jensen's line of sight to an incredibly drunk Ben Edlund and Guy Bee, swaying side by side and having what appeared to be a drunken debate about something.

"Gotta love the drunk folk" Jensen said with a smirk, taking a swig of his newly opened beer.

Two large hands landed on both Misha and Jensen's shoulders, they both glanced back to see Jared now standing between them and gripping their shoulders so tightly that it was close to hurting.

"DUDES…I've been looking…EVERYWHERE for you…dudes" Jared declared loudly and ended with an almost girly giggle.

Misha laughed and looked at Jensen.

"So…umm, Jared's wasted"

"Ya think?" Jensen answered with a short bark of laughter.

"I love you guys…you guys are the bestest guys…in the whole world…universe...country ever!" Jared slurred, placing a sloppy kiss on Jensen and Misha's cheeks.

Jensen ignored that pang of jealousy that Jared had an excuse to kiss Misha on the cheek; he mentally slapped himself for being such a douche nozzle and returned to swigging his beer.

"You know what this party needs?" Misha started, with his thinking face on.

The kind of face that always brought an element of worry to the very pit of Jensen's stomach.

"SHOTS!" Jared declared loudly, accompanied with a loud clap on Jensen's back.

He jolted forward at the impact, beer spilling out of his mouth and down his chin.

"What the hell man…" Jensen started, before he felt a finger run over his chin collecting the beer.

Jensen looked up to see the finger belonged to Misha who now had said finger in his mouth and sucking the beer from it.

"Actually Jay I was gonna say better music…but shots work too" Misha finished.

Jared wooped and made his way over to the counter for shot glasses.

Jensen? Well he couldn't stop staring at Misha sucking on his own finger…cause, damn if that didn't do crazy things to Jensen Junior.

Misha noticed the stare and stopped what he was doing, slowly lowering his hand.

"What? Why waste good beer" He said in response to Jensen's look.

This was enough to snap Jensen out of his trance, his gaping mouth clicking shut and he nodded dumbly, with a faint smile on his lips.

Jared chose that moment to return with shot glasses and tequila, Misha clapped his hands together happily and slid a shot glass over to Jensen.

"No not me man, I'm out…last time I drank tequila I was sick as a dog, not worth it. You guys go ahead." Jensen said, sliding the shot glass back and shaking his head.

Both Jared and Misha put on their best puppy dog eyes, pouting sadly in Jensen's direction.

"Don't give me that look…either of you. Find some other sucker to join you." He said firmly, waving his beer at them before taking a swig.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

One hour, several tequila shots, another beer and some strange alcoholic concoction Jared had 'made up' later…

Misha and Jared were hammered.

And that was putting it lightly.

Jared was worse off than Misha having already been incredibly drunk to start with and 6 foot 4 of Texan man swaying and stumbling everywhere was not only hysterical but also kind of dangerous for fear of him falling and crushing you to death.

Jensen was getting there…he passed on the shots, he didn't pass on two more beers and he stupidly downed a glass of Jared's weird cocktail…he's convinced it's the last one that tipped him over the edge.

He wasn't drunk, just pleasantly buzzed. Although to Jensen's distaste Mandy ended up being the other sucker that had joined the boys about half way through their 'drinking game'.

Jared and Mandy were singing loudly, while Misha rounded off another shot and stumbled sideways into Jensen.

"Jeez Mish, steady on" Jensen said, hands automatically shooting out to steady his friend.

Misha leaned into Jensen for support and half gripped the kitchen counter, while his other hand landed on Jensen's shoulder.

"You…Jensen…Ackles…are soooo awesome" Misha said happily, invading Jensen's personal space.

Jensen smirked and nodded, grabbing hold of Misha's shoulders to steady him some more.

"Yeah thanks Mish…you're awesome too and also freakishly drunk, don't think I've ever seen you so wasted."

"Hey now…right there…dude you're so drunk too" Misha rambled, pointed an accusing finger in Jensen's face.

"Nowhere near as drunk as you. Trust me." Jensen said with a laugh.

"Cause you're a doctor? No…wrong show…" Misha mumbled before collapsing into a fit of laughter.

His whole body leaned clumsily against Jensen and it was all getting too much, the touches, the closeness…and Jensen was hyper aware of every little thing Misha was doing right at that moment.

Before he could gently sway Misha backwards, he felt two hands land on his cheeks and big blue, slightly darkened eyes now stared into his own. Jensen gulped loudly as Misha leaned in closer, his face now void from laughter.

"Seriously though…I think…you're SO…amazing Jen…you're such a good friend and I…you're just SO awesomes" Misha said, cupping Jensen's face in his hands and his thumbs subconsciously rubbing circles against the stubble on Jensen's cheeks.

Jensen felt himself becoming unsteady on his feet, not feeling in full control of his own body right now and Misha's actions causing him to blush uncontrollably and even sweat with nervousness.

Of course Jensen put it down to the alcohol and the fact it was probably starting to kick in.

The urge to kiss Misha was too much and Jensen's mind was clouding over with fog. Suddenly Misha stepped back, with a final light slap to Jensen's cheek and broke into a grin.

"I LOVE THIS SONG…we should dance…let's dance…please Jen…wanna dance…I wanna dance" He rambled in excitement, surging back forward and grabbing a still stunned Jensen's shirt in his fists.

Jensen snapped out of his daze and before he could respond, a very drunk Mandy was at Misha's side and pulling on his arms until they released Jensen's shirt.

"I wanna dance Misha…come dance with me…pretty please" She slurred, grabbing at Misha's shirt and hauling him to the dancefloor.

Jensen simply stood watching his friend be dragged away and he suddenly felt cold with nobody in his personal space.

"Oh for God's sake"

He spun around at the sound of Genevieve's voice; she stood with her hands on both hips and watching a very drunken Jared sliding to the kitchen floor in a heap of giggles.

Jensen shook his head in amusement and Gen turned to face him, strolling over and ignoring Jared sprawled on the floor.

"Jared said you and Misha can crash here tonight…looks like Misha is gonna need to. So I'll do you a deal…I'll take care of that mess…"

She said pointing at Jared.

"…if you take care of that mess. Thankfully I'm just about strong enough to haul his ass upstairs but I refuse to take care of Misha too."

Jensen out right laughed and nodded his head.

"Still shocks me that you can lift that moose…I will forever be impressed by that…and of course, you have yourself a deal."

Gen held out her hand and they shook on it with a smile.

Jensen leant on the kitchen counter, noting that most of the party was dying down now and unfortunately for him left nothing much else to focus on other than Misha and Mandy.

"Then again, looks like Mandy might be handling Misha tonight" Jensen scoffed and downed the last of his beer.

Gen leant on the counter next to Jensen and followed his line of sight, frowning at the disgust in Jensen's voice.

"He looks pretty content with her…alcohol aside." Gen noted, glancing back to see Jensen's reaction.

As predicted he rolled his eyes and let out another half-hearted scoff of distaste.

"Jensen…do you have a crush on Mandy?" Gen asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

"Not a chance, she's really not my type." Jensen said with a snort, his eyes returning to the scene in front of them.

Jensen mentally cut Mandy out of the picture, his eyes completely focusing on Misha.

The smart casual look Misha always went for, the way his tie was now askew and hanging loose from his neck, the way the top 4 buttons of his shirt were undone and revealed tanned skin underneath that made Jensen's mouth water. He couldn't help but laugh at the way Misha couldn't dance, the way he tried so hard but still looked like a baby trying to take his first steps.

A small, fond smile appeared on Jensen's lips as he watched Misha and Genevieve finally clicked.

"Oh my God…It's Misha" She whispered in shock, staring at Jensen.

Jensen finally tore his gaze away and came face to face with a shocked looking Gen, his stomach clenched uncomfortably at the look she was giving him.

*Shit*

"What's Misha?" He asked dumbly.

"You like him don't you? I mean like him, like him…"

Jensen buried his face in his hands, letting out a huge sigh.

"Am I that obvious?" He said, lifting his head to look at Gen.

"You're not gonna deny it? I thought you were straight…"

"Yeah me too, but I guess after almost a year with these feelings…I may not have told anyone outright, but what's the point in denying it now."

Gen let out a small smile of comfort and gave Jensen a re-assuring pat on the back.

"Wow…can't say I'm not shocked. I knew you guys were close but…wow."

Jensen smiled sadly and shook his head.

"Not that it matters anyways"

Gen sighed loudly and shook her head in response.

"Of course it matters Jensen, what you're feeling…it matters."

"But why…it's been nearly a year…he will never feel that way…I mean he's also straight and he'd probably be disgusted if he knew what I was feeling. So I gotta push that aside, I don't wanna lose him as a friend."

Genevieve placed her hand on top of Jensen's and let out a deep breath.

"Ok…I'm gonna tell you a little story…"

Jensen looked up with interest and motioned for her to continue.

"I have this friend, Olivia. She's been my friend since pre-school and I grew up with her. Damn, I knew everything about her and she knew everything about me. When we went through high school and college, she dated a LOT of boys…really hot boys, through high school it was the jocks, the captain of the football team…through college she turned her attention to academic types. My point is, she was boy crazy…while we were in college we found a new friend, and her name was Brooke, she was beautiful, intelligent and so funny; she ended up being one of our best friends. Brooke was openly bisexual and Olivia couldn't quite grasp why Brooke was attracted to girls…"

Jensen listened, not quite sure what direction Gen was heading with this but intrigued at the same time.

"…anyways, they became best friends and spent almost every day together. One day I came back to my dorm room to find Olivia in tears, when I asked what's wrong…she said she was confused and she couldn't keep it to herself anymore, but she was having strong feelings for someone she shouldn't be…she went on to explain she had just broken up with her boyfriend of two years and I was pretty shocked…they were great together. Then she further explained that she had been having feelings for Brooke…she didn't understand why, she was convinced she wasn't attracted to girls."

Jensen listened intently.

"Wow…I guess I can kind of relate at the moment. So…what happened?"

"I convinced Olivia to tell Brooke, she wasn't happy about it because she didn't want to ruin their friendship and was convinced she would never feel the same."

"And?" Jensen prompted.

"And…they just celebrated their 5 year anniversary." Gen finished with a smile.

Jensen gaped slightly, letting the story sink in.

"That's…amazing, good for them."

"Yep, they're awesome together. Just proves that sometimes it isn't about labels…it's the person you fall for…"

Jensen nodded in understanding, feeling slightly better about his situation after hearing an inspiring story.

"…And Misha is a pretty amazing person." Gen said, with a comforting smile aimed at Jensen.

"Yeah, he really is" Jensen said with a loud sigh, his eyes darting back towards Misha momentarily before tearing away and looking down at the counter.

Jensen felt Gen grip his chin and pull his head up.

"For the record…so are you Jensen Ackles. He would be lucky to have you."

"Thank you" Jensen replied with a smile and he couldn't help but think…Jared better marry this girl.

He returned his focus on Misha, who turned, catching eye contact with Jensen and winked at him. Jensen's insides fluttered and he ducked his head with a blush.

The sudden sound of Misha at his side brought him back to reality and he looked up at his drunken friend.

"I'm sick of dancing…I don't feel so good" Misha complained, swaying by Jensen's side.

Genevieve giggled and patted Jensen on the back.

"Right, I think it's about time I declared this party over and got this giant off to his bed" Gen said with a clap of her hands.

"Need a hand?" Jensen asked, while he steadied Misha on his feet.

"I got it, you take care of him" Gen said with a smirk, before floating off through to house and starting to usher people out, starting with Mandy.

"Jen…the room…its spinning"

Jensen chuckled and hooked his arm under Misha's to steady him.

"Ok buddy, I think it's time we got you to bed huh?"

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

After a battle of dragging Misha up the ridiculously long staircase and finally settling on one of Jared's many spare rooms, Jensen dropped his friend on the bed.

Misha lay on his back, staring up at the ceiling and rambling about not being able to see the clouds, to which Jensen chuckled and responded 'that's because we're indoors dumbass'.

Jensen knelt on the floor by Misha's feet, setting to work taking off his boots so he was more comfortable and the fact Misha was lazily kicking his feet back and forth wasn't helping the situation.

"Would you keep still and let me get these off" Jensen sighed.

Misha pushed himself up on his elbows and glanced down at Jensen, who had now successfully removed his boots.

Jensen stood up and sat himself back down beside Misha on the bed.

"Ok, I'm gonna leave a bucket by the bed ok? In case you need to hurl."

"You're too good to me Ackles" Misha said with a laugh, nudging Jensen clumsily.

Misha rested his weight against Jensen's side and let his head fall on his shoulder sleepily.

"What happened to Mandy?" He mumbled.

Jensen rolled his eyes at the mention.

"Gen kicked her out, along with the other party goers."

"Good"

His eyebrow rose at the declaration.

"Good? Thought you liked her…you seemed to like her?" Jensen prompted.

Misha shook his head from where it rested against Jensen's shoulder and groaned.

"Nooo…Hell no…she was annoying…clingy…not my type at all" Misha grumbled, before pushing himself to sit up as best he could.

"Wow, guess I was wrong then…"

Jensen said with a smirk, he couldn't hide his happiness even if he wanted to. He knew he probably shouldn't push since Misha was wasted, but now was as good a time as any to dig for information.

"…So what is your type?"

Misha's brows furrowed together in concentration for a moment, as though it was the most difficult question he had ever been asked.

"I have…many types…"

Jensen nodded his head, he should have suspected he wouldn't get a straight answer from a drunk Misha…he never gets one from sober Misha, so why should he now.

"…You're my type"

Misha's words echoed through the otherwise silent room and Jensen's heart practically stopped at the statement. His eyes immediately shot to Misha who was now staring at him through drunken blue eyes.

"Wh…what did you say?" Jensen stuttered his mouth gaping open and closed in shock.

Instead of an answer, Misha took it a step further.

The next thing Jensen felt was Misha's lips crashing, almost painfully onto his own in a drunken, sloppy and downright messy surprise kiss.

And damn, if it wasn't the best kiss Jensen had ever had.

He didn't respond, couldn't respond…Jensen simply sat there, his arms hovering mid-air and not knowing where to place them. He let Misha work his lips messily against his own and all Jensen could hear was the sound of his own heart pounding at 100 miles per second.

It wasn't a long kiss, Misha pulled back with his eyes still closed for a moment and swayed where he sat on the bed. Jensen was shaking; his whole body rigid and his eyes wide open in pure shock as he stared at his friend.

Misha slowly opened his eyes, his breathing still heavy and his lips now swollen from their brief encounter.

Jensen didn't know what to do, his brain wasn't working at this precise moment…so one look at a dishevelled Misha and he went with his heart instead.

He surged forward, grabbing a fistful of Misha's hair and dragging him back in for a second kiss.

The surprise moan that fell from Misha's mouth only surged Jensen on and he set about working his tongue into the other man's mouth, earning a further moan and a pair of hands now grabbing at his shirt.

Misha fell backwards onto the bed and pulled Jensen down on top of him.

The kiss was even messier than the first, now tongues were involved and Jensen was lying haphazardly on top of Misha, causing friction in all the right places.

They broke apart for air and Jensen stared down at the man below him, the man he had been lusting after for so long…his co-star…his friend…his very drunk, not in his right mind friend…

"Shit" Jensen muttered, before using all of his willpower and the encouragement from his brain that had finally decided to kick in to haul himself off Misha and sit up on the bed.

"Jensen…"

"No, we can't do this…you're drunk…like stupidly drunk…we…I can't take advantage like that." Jensen said firmly, standing up and brushing down on the creases in his shirt, willing his half hard cock to calm down.

He didn't look back at Misha, he didn't want to see him…he couldn't, the moment he seen those puppy dog eyes Jensen would not be responsible for his lack of self-control.

"Look…you should sleep it off man…"

Jensen finally turned around to see Misha already drifted off into a drunken slumber, half lying on the bed and his legs hanging over the edge.

He chuckled at the sight and lifted Misha's legs onto the bed, dragging his friend to lie properly on the bed and covered him with a blanket.

Jensen looked down at Misha and let out a shaky breath, before leaning down and kissing him firmly on the forehead. He stroked a hand through Misha's unruly hair, before pulling back and heading out of the bedroom, with one last long look at his friend.

Once inside the safety of his own temporary bedroom for the night, Jensen collapsed on the bed…tonight changed everything.

Did Misha mean what he said? Was he just drunk and horny?

Jensen had no clue, but his brain was now working overtime with a million new questions. He would have to wait and see what the next morning would bring, but for the time being Jensen couldn't escape one new piece of information that now filled his brain after his little encounter with Misha…

Jensen had no idea when his 'crush' had turned into Love.


	4. Chapter 4

**Ok guys, this is it…the final chapter!**

**I apologise if there are any grammar/spelling mistakes, I do try to check it all over etc before I post it but I probably miss things lol given its 2am UK time here and I'm trying to get this fic finished this weekend!**

**Anyways, here is the last one! Hope you enjoy and please let me know what you think, review this chapter and let me know if you think i should be writing more Cockles!**

**Thanks so much to everyone who has reviewed & followed! **

**Love you guys! x**

**If It's Love**

**Chapter 3 of 3 ~ The Final chapter**

Jensen grumbled, waking up slowly in a very unfamiliar bed and it took him a few moments, blinking sleepily and taking in the room around him to remember he was in one of Jared's spare rooms.

He rolled onto his back, giving himself a moment to wake up and found himself staring at the ceiling above, his mind catching up and reminding him of last night's events. Jensen was sobering up by the time he had put a drunken Misha to bed last night, so every little detail remained engraved on his brain with no chance of a hangover or alcohol making him forget.

Rolling out of the bed, Jensen sat up and buried his head in his hands, groaning quietly as he cast his mind back to the feeling of Misha's lips on his own, Misha underneath him…Misha…Misha…

"Dammit" He cursed, finally standing up and heading into the bathroom to get a shower.

Once the shower was heated up, Jensen stripped of his clothing and got into the stall, letting waves of warm water crash against his naked skin. He moaned quietly in pleasure at the soothing and almost calming sensation, there was nothing better than a shower in the morning.

Jensen's mind once again drifted back to Misha and he couldn't help but replay what he had said last night 'You're my type' – did he mean that? What the hell was Jensen supposed to do with that kind of statement? The fact Misha had followed it up with a kiss should have shown that he did mean what he was saying and yet Jensen couldn't help the little voice in the back of his head that screamed 'he didn't know what he was saying, he was drunk, dumbass'.

His mind brushed that aside for the time being, his body starting to respond to the sheer memory of kissing his co-star and it had taken a lot of willpower for Jensen to stop their make out session last night, when all he wanted to do was fuck Misha into the mattress and show him what It was that Jensen truly wanted.

He reached for the shower cream and poured a generous amount into his hand, before wrapping it firmly around his now half hard cock. Jensen moaned loudly in relief, hoping everyone else was still asleep and didn't hear a thing. He gave his cock a few firm strokes and he was hard in no time.

Squeezing his eyes shut, Jensen braced himself with his other hand flat against the wall and his head dropping forward, letting water run through his hair and trail down his naked back.

Images flashed through his brain as he picked up the pace, Misha underneath him…moaning into his mouth, pliant and needy. The feeling of Misha's tongue against his own, the fight for dominance and the sloppy technique that was practically perfect, despite his friend's drunken state at the time.

Jensen increased his speed, tugging and sliding his hand faster, harder up and down his cock. He moaned more quietly this time, gasping for breath and feeling his climax approaching.

Images of Misha wriggling beneath him filled his mind, the way their clothes had brushed together and created much needed friction, the moans and whimpers that fell from Misha's lips, the feeling of his soft hair between Jensen's fingers as he tugged Misha closer and then those words again, loud and clear in Jensen's head 'You're my type'.

The final thoughts sent Jensen crashing over the edge.

He cried out silently, his mouth gaping and coming all over the shower wall. Jensen was practically gasping for breath as he came down from his orgasm, his legs felt like jelly as he tried to push himself off the wall to stand up straight and he winced at the sight of his come trailing down the wall in front of him.

Jensen made quick work of cleaning himself (and the shower wall) up and decided it was about time he headed downstairs to face Misha.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

Once downstairs, Jensen could smell pancakes and he followed the scent into the kitchen to find Genevieve busying herself making breakfast.

"Morning Gen" He said with a smile, sitting himself on a stool at the counter.

She spun around with a bright smile on her face.

"Good morning Jensen, I'm making breakfast…hope you're hungry" She said happily.

"Starving actually, smells good…" Jensen said, nodding.

He quickly cast his eyes around the room and glanced towards the living room for any sign of Misha.

"…You the first one up?" He asked curiously, picking up a glass of orange juice to take a sip.

"Yup, gigantor hasn't reared his drunken head yet and haven't seen Mish either. Did you get him off ok last night?"

Jensen practically spat out his orange juice and quickly wiped it from his chin.

"Excuse me?"

Gen giggled and handed Jensen a kitchen towel to clean up.

"I meant get him off to bed, the guy was pretty wasted."

Jensen rolled his eyes and cleaned up the spilt orange juice, before clearing his throat and shifting awkwardly in his seat.

"Did something happen?" Gen asked, pushing curiously after seeing the look on Jensen's face.

"He umm…he kissed me last night" Jensen mumbled, his hands now picking at the kitchen towel and not daring to look at Gen.

"Oh my….are you serious? That's amazing!" She cried out, rushing to Jensen's side and putting an arm around his shoulders.

Jensen scoffed and shook his head.

"Is it? I mean one minute everything is normal, the next minute he declares 'I'm his type' and practically throws himself at me…it just seems a little out of the blue, the guy was drunk…you seen him, he was practically falling all over the place. He was probably just wasted and feeling a little horny, clearly aiming for the wrong target."

Gen slapped him on the shoulder hard and Jensen glanced over to her in shock.

"Umm OW?"

"You're an idiot Ackles, why can't you just believe that Misha may actually WANT this. You know a drunken mouth speaks a sober mind; you're not giving the guy enough credit. Did it ever occur to you that maybe he does feel that way and last night was the only time he felt brave enough to express it?" Gen ranted, with her hands placed firmly on her hips.

Jensen mulled over her words and desperately wanted to believe what she was saying, but he still wasn't 100% convinced.

"I don't know, maybe…I mean, I'm not getting hopes up here. Misha might wake up this morning and not even remember what happened."

Gen nodded in understanding and continued preparing breakfast as she spoke.

"Would you remind him?"

Jensen shrugged, unsure of his answer…would he?

At that exact moment they heard footsteps coming down the stairs and Jensen's heart rate picked up, his nerves kicking in to the extreme.

He looked up in time to see a clearly hung over Misha entering the kitchen, rubbing his forehead and groaning loudly.

Gen shot a look to Jensen who simply sat staring at an even more dishevelled Misha than he had left behind the night before.

"Ah gracing us with your presence, at least you beat Jared to it. Pancakes?" Gen said with a laugh, waving a plate of pancakes in Misha's face.

Misha glanced up at Gen, wincing at the smell of pancakes and suddenly feeling very, very sick.

"Urgh, no thank you…I don't feel so good" Misha mumbled, his eyes finally landing on Jensen.

He nodded once in acknowledgement of Jensen and sat on the stool opposite his friend, head now resting on the kitchen counter.

Jensen stared at the top of Misha's head, not being able to help the pang of sadness that rushed through him, it was clear that currently Misha either remembered but didn't care enough to talk about what happened last night or he didn't remember at all.

"Morning to you too Mish" Jensen mumbled, causing Misha to lift his head and meet his friends eye.

"Morning…I hope I didn't cause you too much trouble last night"

"You…"

Jensen started to speak, glancing at Gen who was now focused on the two of them and then back to Misha.

"…You don't remember anything?"

"Sort of…I remember dancing with Mandy and you dragging me upstairs, but it's a little blurry after that. I haven't been that drunk in a long time, why did I do something stupid?"

His heart dropped a little, Misha remembered pretty much everything up until that vital moment…now the ball was in Jensen's court, does he remind his friend or not?

Jensen plastered on a fake smile and shook his head.

"No, nothing at all"

He seen Genevieve practically deflate with a big sigh out of the corner of his vision and Misha nodded in relief.

"Thank God…I'm gonna take a shower" Misha declared, sleepily hauling himself to stand up and start walking back up the stairs.

The moment he was out of the room, Jensen sighed loudly and let his head fall on the counter, tears threatening to build up behind his eyes.

Jensen figured this may be for the best and their friendship would remain as normal, nobody got hurt. Although that last part was so far from the truth for Jensen.

Gen came over and Jensen felt her rubbing his back in comfort.

The sound of racing footsteps down the stairs caused Jensen's head to whip up in time to see Misha enter the kitchen again and this time he looked more alert.

Wide blue eyes found Jensen's and Misha was panting for breath.

"WE KISSED LAST NIGHT" he declared loudly, staring at Jensen in shock.

Jensen's eyes went comically wide and he glanced at Gen with concern before returning his eyes to a shocked looking Misha.

"I thought…we…you…you said you didn't remember…" Jensen stuttered, not knowing what to say.

"I didn't, as I was walking upstairs it came flooding back to me…I kissed you last night, we full on made out…I pounced you." Misha said, his words rushing at a million miles a second.

Jensen nodded stiffly, his heart hammering loudly in his chest.

"Yes…you did, we did."

"You stopped it…" Misha continued and waited for Jensen to respond.

"Umm…"

Jensen coughed awkwardly, feeling the pressure of Misha's eyes staring right at him.

"…Yeah I did, you were drunk."

Misha calmed down slightly, his shoulders slumping and his breathing slowing down.

"Right…good. Thank you, I appreciate that." Misha finished with a small smile.

Jensen felt as though he had been kicked in the gut and his heart torn in two, anger now bubbling under the surface.

"Sure…right, wouldn't want you to regret it now would we?" Jensen snapped, causing Misha's smile to fade into a frown.

Genevieve coughed loudly and stepped in, pushing Misha back towards the door.

"Anyways…you go get your shower before Jared gets up…he usually takes a while, and then I'll whip up more pancakes. Ok, good? Off you go" Gen rushed out, practically pushing a confused Misha out of the door and closing it behind him.

Once the door was closed, Gen rushed to Jensen's side and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Jensen, I'm so sorry…I wish that had gone differently…"

He stood up abruptly, wiping away the beginnings of silent tears that started to flow freely down his cheeks and brushed past Genevieve, heading for the door.

"Jensen, where are you going?"

"Home. Sorry Gen…just tell Jared I'll catch up with him later. Thanks for breakfast." Jensen said sadly, before making his exit out of the house.

"But…you didn't even eat breakfast." Gen finished quietly, as the door to the house slammed.

Jared pushed his way through the door moments later and into the kitchen, groaning loudly.

"Aspirin…I need aspirin…my head is gonna explode" Jared complained, shuffling towards the kitchen cupboard.

Gen shook her head in annoyance and slapped Jared on the arm.

"Hey…feeling delicate here, what was that for?"

"That is for being such a drunken ass, I had to haul you up those ridiculously long stairs last night and then you spent the entire night kicking me out of the bed, that I ended up downstairs on the couch." Gen ranted, pointing an accusing finger at Jared.

Jared's puppy dog eyes came into play and he wrapped his arms securely around Gen.

"I'm so sorry baby; you should have left me down here."

"Too late now…I suppose you could redeem yourself by cleaning this place up." She said with a smile, handing her boyfriend a black trash bag and motioned to the mess in the living room.

"Ah man" Jared whined, shuffling his way into the other room.

Misha entered the kitchen, looking more awake than before and immediately his eyes met with the empty stool Jensen had been sat on earlier.

"Where's Jensen?"

"He's gone home sweetie." Gen replied, as Jared came back into the kitchen.

"Morning dude…"

Jared said, nodding towards Misha, who half-heartedly waved at Jared.

"…so was that Jensen who left with a slam earlier?" Jared asked curiously.

"Yeah he had some things to take care of." Gen answered, turning her back on both men.

Misha wiped a hand down his face, feeling as though their little conversation earlier had probably caused Jensen to leave and he couldn't help but feel a little guilty for being the source of all this tension.

"Look guys, I'm gonna head off too…great party Jay, I'll catch you later." Misha mumbled, before practically racing out of the house and the door slamming behind him.

"Did I miss something?" Jared asked with a confused look.

This earned him another slap.

"OW WHAT THE HELL" he cried out again and glared at Gen, who was glaring right back.

"That right there….is for being an oblivious douche bag."

Jared rubbed his arm in pain and pouted, before returning back to his cleaning duties.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

Misha finally reached his own apartment and collapsed onto the couch.

He couldn't take his mind off Jensen.

Misha felt his stomach twist uncomfortably at the thought he may have screwed up their friendship with his stupid drunken antics last night and he really hoped they could move past it.

Without further thinking, Misha pulled out his phone and sent a text to Jensen.

_Are we good? M_

He pocketed the phone and decided sleep was in order.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

Jensen felt his phone vibrate from where he sat on his couch, he pulled it out and seen Misha's name.

"Are we good?" Jensen repeated as he read the text out loud.

He sighed heavily, slumping back into his couch and running a hand down his face. It was a good question, are they good?

Even Jensen wasn't sure, so he ignored the message in favour of getting some sleep.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

He woke up abruptly to a loud knock on his apartment door.

Jensen grumbled and made his way to the door, swinging it open to reveal a sick looking Jared.

"To what do I owe this pleasure? You look like hell." Jensen muttered, heading back to the couch and letting Jared follow him into the apartment.

"Well judging from what Gen said to me earlier, I'm guessing I missed something pretty huge last night due to me being and I quote…'a drunken ass'. Figured I'd stop by and see how you're doin'?" Jared said, planting himself next to Jensen on the couch.

Jensen rolled his eyes and took a deep breath.

"Actually you have missed a lot…"

Jensen started, hearing his phone buzz again and took it out.

There were 2 more messages from Misha and a missed phone call. The guy clearly wanted to talk and Jensen wasn't sure if he could face the heartache today, so he threw his phone on the coffee table, receiving a curious look from Jared.

Jared grabbed Jensen's phone and flipped through the recent messages, weirdly Jensen didn't even have the energy to stop him.

"Are we good...I think we should talk...Stop ignoring me Jensen, just call me back…" Jared read Misha's texts aloud and threw the phone back on the table, turning to Jensen.

"…these are all from Misha, something happen with you guys? Have you fallen out?"

Jensen closed his eyes, bracing himself for the talk with Jared that was bound to happen eventually.

"When I said you've missed a lot…I wasn't kidding, not just last night…but for the past year."

"Listening…you know you can tell me anything man, I know we joke around…but you're like a brother to me." Jared said encouragingly, which made Jensen feel slightly guilty for not telling him sooner.

"I think I'm in love with Misha"

Jared's jaw fell slightly, his mouth opening and closing for a few moment while he wrapped his head around what Jensen had said.

"Our Misha?"

"How many Misha's do you know dude?" Jensen said with a roll of his eyes.

"Right…sorry, are you serious? How? When? What the hell man, you're straight…I've only ever known you to date girls, you're into guys now?…how could you keep this from me?" Jared ranted, standing up and pacing the floor.

"Woah woah, slow down…firstly I'm not 'into guys now'; I'm into ONE guy…that guy being Misha. Secondly, I'm sorry I didn't tell you alright, it just came as a bit of a shock…I freaked out, a LOT and I just figured over time that it would pass, but it didn't." Jensen finished with a duck of his head and Jared seen the sadness sweep over his best friend, he returned to his side quickly.

"Ok…let's ummm…why don't you start from the top?"

Jensen spent the next hour re-counting the past year, telling Jared everything. About how he feels, how he felt when he seen Misha for the first time and how he struggled with his sexuality.

He explained how that feeling never went away, how it's stronger than ever and Jared listened intently throughout, offering support. Jensen finished telling his best friend about what had happened last night and the conversation he and Misha had this morning.

"So I guess, that's it now…I know he doesn't feel the same, he clearly regrets last night and I should have expected that, in fact I DID expect that…so I don't know why I got so angry, guess it just hurts more than I thought. I just need a day or two to cool off and I'll be fine, Misha and me…WE will be fine, I'm not losing him over this."

Jared frowned and shook his head sadly.

"So what…You're gonna continue being friends, despite the fact you're clearly in love with Misha and it's gonna kill you every day to be around him…what happens when he finds someone Jensen? That will hurt you so much; you can't seriously expect this to work…"

Jensen felt tears forming again and he held them back for the sake of his dignity at this point. Jared's words sunk in and it's not as though Jensen hadn't thought of all this before, but he didn't want Misha out of his life…he wouldn't cope.

"Maybe it will hurt for a little while…but when I find someone, which I will. Everything will be fine and we will all move on. I refuse to lose him as my friend, so this is my only option…he will never feel the same about me, so I guess he will find his girl one day and settle down, I'll just have to be OK with that."

"Or his guy…" Jared muttered.

Jensen turned confused eyes to his best friend and shook his head.

"Did you just say guy?"

Jared nodded as though it was common knowledge.

"Yeah…Misha is bisexual…you can't tell me you didn't know this? You guys talk about everything…for God's sake Jensen he kissed you last night…that's gotta set off your gaydar?"

"I had no idea…I just figured last night he was drunk and it was a mistake, it's not uncommon and yeah we talked about everything…except relationships. He mentioned a couple of past girlfriends, but I never wanted to go in depth cause it pained me to hear him talk about his conquests. So wait…he's really Bi?"

"Yep…he dated some guy for like a year before he joined Supernatural. I can't believe you didn't know."

Jensen shook his head in disbelief. Of course Misha was Bi, it made perfect sense and the guy didn't like to be labelled, he's a quirky free spirit after all. Jensen mentally slapped himself for being so stupid.

"Doesn't matter anyway, he made it perfectly clear he regrets last night…so I move on."

"Sorry man, I don't know what to say except…I'm here for you, whenever you need to talk more about it. You have my support dude." Jared said, with a sad smile and patting Jensen on the back.

He appreciated the support from Jared and felt like a massive weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

After Jared left the apartment, Jensen collapsed on his couch again with a sigh and picked up his phone.

_You're starting to worry me…please talk to me Jensen, don't make me come over there!"_

Jensen read the last text from Misha and once again ignored it, he wouldn't come over uninvited and Jensen just needed some space.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

A couple of hours passed, Jensen now sat watching re-runs of Supernatural on the CW and thankfully for him they were early episodes, no Castiel.

Normally Jensen wouldn't watch himself on TV, but his brain was so fried he didn't have the energy to switch channels and most of the time he was spacing out anyway.

A knock sounded on his apartment door and Jensen frowned, pulling himself up and making for the door.

He opened it to reveal a pissed off looking Misha on the other side.

*Shit*

"Oh…it lives!" Misha cried out dramatically, pushing past Jensen and into his apartment.

Jensen gulped loudly and shut the door behind him, his head and heart not quite ready for the battle he knew was coming. It had been a long day.

"What's up Misha?"

The other man came to a stop in Jensen's living room and spun around, with an angry frown on his face.

"Why haven't you answered any of my texts Jensen?"

"Didn't get any texts, haven't checked my phone." Jensen said quietly.

Misha glanced around and seen Jensen's phone lying on the coffee table and scoffed loudly, picking up the phone waving it around.

"Oh you mean this phone…you're telling me, that since you left Jared's this morning you haven't checked THIS phone once…the phone that's been lying on your table…"

Jensen shrugged, not knowing how to answer. He didn't have the energy to fight right now.

Misha sighed, unlocking Jensen's phone with ease and laughing bitterly, shaking his head.

"Oh look…four messages from me…and they have all been read..." Misha said, throwing the phone back on the table.

"What the hell Jen? This is to do with last night isn't it?"

He pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration and closed his eyes, willing Misha to just disappear at that moment.

"Look Mish, I'm not really up to this right now ok…"

"No…not ok, I'm sorry but we're talking about this now."

Jensen whipped his head up to meet Misha's eye and reluctantly nodded, but neither man moved from their position standing in the living room.

"Look Jensen…last night, I was drunk…I'm sorry, I don't want one little incident screw up our friendship ok?"

Jensen felt his anger re-surface and bubble.

"Little incident, huh? You know what…let's just move on and forget about it, because that's clearly what YOU want to do. Screw how I'm feeling about all of this…"

Jensen ranted angrily, before calming himself down and taking a deep breath.

"…I'm sorry, it's just been a long day. I agree, let's just move on…I'm still your friend, I'm not going anywhere."

Misha shook his head confused and took a step towards Jensen.

"No…wait a minute, I need to know…I'm a little confused…are you mad at me because I said I wanted to forget about this? How exactly are you feeling about what happened?" Misha enquired, coming to a stop in front of his friend.

Jensen ducked his head and stared at the ground, wanting it to swallow him whole and refusing to meet Misha's eye.

Misha caught the look on Jensen's face and took a disbelieving step backwards.

"That IS why you're mad at me isn't it? Because you need to know…the only reason I want us to move on from it, was because I figured it would make you uncomfortable…I made a bold move last night, something I wasn't brave enough to do while sober and the only regret I had was that I potentially screwed up our friendship and scared you off."

Jensen's head shot up in record speed at Misha's declaration and his eyes widened in shock.

"You're saying…last night was intentional? You wanted to kiss me…it wasn't just a drunken mistake?" Jensen asked stumbling through shaky breath.

Misha nodded in confirmation and it was his turn to duck his head, a slight blush creeping up his neck.

"Wow…now I feel like a total idiot…but you thanked me, for stopping it…"

"Yes because I didn't want it to go too far and for you to regret it. I don't wanna lose you Jensen" Misha stated, his blue eyes fixing firmly on Jensen's.

"You like me?" Jensen asked, his heart pounding fast and his insides doing jumps of joy at the idea.

"Yes…I've liked you for quite a while now…how could I not?" Misha said firmly.

Though his words seemed confident, Jensen could see him shaking and took a step forward.

"You do realise I kissed you back last night, right?" Jensen asked, watching Misha's brow frown in confusion.

"You did? I just remembered me pouncing you…and you stopping it. Wait, why would you kiss me back…you weren't that drunk…"

Jensen chuckled and took another step closer to his friend.

"No I wasn't drunk and yes I kissed you, hell I was the one who pushed you down on the bed and the only reason I stopped it, was because I didn't wanna take advantage. But you have no idea how badly I wanted to carry on."

Misha's eyes widened, almost comically and he took a brave step into Jensen's personal space.

"I'm beginning to."

Jensen was the one who closed the gap, hooking his hand behind Misha's head and crashing their lips together, it a much more co-ordinated, sober kiss.

Misha yelped in surprise, but quickly melted into the kiss and pressed himself into Jensen's body, wrapping his arms firmly around his friend's neck and pulling him closer.

They broke for air and both men were panting, trying to catch their breath.

"So you like me too…wait, I'm confused…I thought you were…"

"Straight? Doesn't look that way…I have liked you since the moment I laid eyes on you and that's never gone away…guess Gen was right, it's the person you fall for. Labels be damned."

Misha laughed in surprise and buried his head in Jensen's neck, soaking up everything that was this moment.

"I don't know about you, but I am sick of denying this anymore…I want you Jensen" Misha said, lifting his head and meeting with the green eyes in front of him.

"Could not agree more."

Misha grinned in response, before tugging Jensen into another kiss.

Jensen moaned freely into Misha's mouth and his friend used that advantage to deepen this kiss, his tongue brushing against Jensen's and the kiss turning needier by the second.

He pushed Jensen backwards, until his back hit a wall and Misha pressed closer, devouring Jensen's willing mouth and taking the upper hand. Jensen let Misha manhandle him, cause damn if it wasn't the hottest thing ever and he settled for roaming his hands down Misha's back and resting on his hips.

Misha surged forward, grinding their hips together and broke away from Jensen's mouth in favour of sucking his lover's neck, determined to leave possessive marks.

"Ah fuck…please Misha…I need…" Jensen panted, moaning loudly at the friction and the sensation of Misha's tongue lapping at his neck.

He soon got the message, hands finding the hem of Jensen's t-shirt and pulling it roughly over his head, before returning to his place sucking on Jensen's neck hungrily. Misha's hands roamed the now naked chest in front of him, brushing roughly over nipples and digging his nails in bare skin, causing Jensen to hiss in pleasure and buck his hips more insistently against Misha's.

Truth was, Jensen loved being pinned down and the fact it was Misha doing the pinning made it more worthwhile. Jensen started to push at Misha's jacket and quickly discarded it on the floor, both of them kicking off their shoes and Misha practically tearing off his own shirt, buttons flying everywhere.

Jensen was harder than he had ever been, painfully so and he started pushing Misha backwards towards the bedroom, kissing the entire way there and hands exploring each other's naked chests.

As soon as the bedroom door closed behind them, Misha was on Jensen and his hands making quick work of Jensen's belt buckle, whipping it off in record speed and setting to work on unzipping his jeans.

Jensen moaned loudly as Misha pushed his jeans down to the floor and Jensen assisted in stepping out of them. He let Misha push him towards the bed, all the while his lips never leaving Jensen's.

Misha pushed him down onto the bed, causing a yelp from Jensen and he stared up at Misha who was standing above him, with a feral look in his eyes.

"Fuck…you have no idea how long I've waited…to get you like this." Misha growled, his eyes roaming hungrily over Jensen's nearly naked form and his gaze landing on Jensen's hard cock pushing obscenely against the cotton of his underwear.

Jensen felt exposed and it felt damn good, his arousal reaching heights he never thought possible and he sat up abruptly, grabbing at Misha's jeans and making quick work of the belt. Misha gasped in surprise at Jensen's sudden boldness, but let him do what he wanted.

He pushed Misha's jeans down and made him step out of them, Jensen sat on the edge of the bed and pulled down Misha's underwear, leaving him completely naked and exposed for Jensen. Needless to say, it was a pretty daunting moment for Jensen who had never seen another man's dick up close and Misha's dick was currently inches away from his lips.

Misha noticed the look on Jensen's face and gripped his chin, tilting his head up.

"Jensen you don't have to do anything you don't want…I get this is…new…I…"

The way in which Jensen responded, nearly knocked Misha off his feet.

His tongue reached out and tentatively licked the head of Misha's now dripping cock, while Jensen held on firmly to the base. He pulled back with a small smile playing on his lips and looked up at Misha, who was staring down in disbelief.

"Misha…just, shut up." Jensen said with a sly smile and a wink.

Jensen surged forward, feeling confident and took Misha's erect cock into his mouth and moaning around it, causing vibrations to flood through Misha.

"Ah holy shit Jen." Misha moaned, his hand immediately gripping Jensen's hair.

He watched as Jensen Ackles went down on him and Misha still couldn't believe his luck. This wasn't the plan; this wasn't supposed to happen…he never thought in a million years that Jensen would feel the same way that he did.

Yet right now, there they were. Jensen clearly inexperienced in giving blow jobs was making up for it in enthusiasm and if truth be told, he was doing a damn good job. Misha was on cloud nine, watching himself disappear in and out of those perfect lips.

Jensen was going with what he liked, stroking what part of Misha he couldn't get in his mouth and using his tongue to lap at the underside, sucking hard. Jensen was enjoying this, hearing the sounds above him, feeling the weight of Misha resting on his tongue and pleasuring the man he had fallen for.

"Jen…you have to stop, I'm gonna come…can't come yet…" Misha rambled, pushing Jensen off him reluctantly.

Jensen sat back, licking his lips and shooting a wink in Misha's direction, before peeling off his own underwear and tossing them across the room.

Misha gulped loudly, before surging forward and pressing a kiss to Jensen's lips, pushing him backwards up the bed and lying on top of him. The sudden sensation of their hard cocks pressed together, made Jensen break from the kiss with a loud moan and bucking his hips for more friction.

"Oh my God…that feels awesome, fuck Misha…I need more…please" Jensen begged, his hips bucking wildly against his lovers, hands coming down to grip Misha's ass tightly and press him closer.

He moaned along with Jensen, thrusting his hips against the ones below him and gripping Jensen's waist tightly. Misha pressed his forehead against Jensen's, their eyes wide open and staring into each other, panting wildly as the speed picked up and Misha pressed a firm kiss to Jensen's lips.

"What do you want Jensen?" Misha asked through stuttered breath.

"All of you." Jensen whispered, moaning quietly and Misha gasped, nodding in understanding.

Jensen reached out and pulled open the drawer beside them, pulling out a bottle of lube.

"I don't have…condoms."

"Don't know about you, but I haven't slept with anyone for a year…I'm clean."

Jensen nodded, his heart leaping at the comment.

"Me too."

Misha poured a generous amount of lube on his fingers, before working them down towards Jensen's now spread legs and he quickly found his entrance.

"You sure about this?" Misha asked, fingers circling the hole but not pressing in.

"Fuck yes…a year Mish…a whole fucking year, I want you."

He smiled down at Jensen, leaning down to kiss him passionately as he pressed his fingers inside and began to work his lover open.

The burn, it was the first thing Jensen felt and he immediately tried to squirm away. It fucking hurt, but Misha was insistent and continued; pressing kisses to Jensen's lips and occasionally reaching down with his other hand to stroke Jensen's cock.

Misha scissored Jensen open as best he could, one finger, two fingers and finally three. Jensen was finally relaxing by the third and pressing down against Misha's talented fingers, needy little moans leaving his lips.

"Fuck…ahhh, more…I need more." Jensen panted desperately.

"Yeah...fuck yes." Misha whispered in Jensen's ear and removed his fingers.

He slicked up his cock, moaning at the friction and lined himself between Jensen's legs. His cock now pressing firmly against the hole, with a final kiss to Jensen's lips, Misha sunk inside of his friend in one smooth motion.

Misha groaned loudly at the tightness surrounding him and once fully inside, he took a minute to let Jensen relax.

Jensen's eyes were squeezed tightly shut and his breathing was staggered. Misha ran one hand down Jensen's cheek and pressed a light kiss to his temple.

"Open your eyes handsome…"

Jensen opened his eyes and stared deeply into the blue ones above him.

"…are you ok?"

"mmmhmm" He nodded stiffly.

"I'll make it feel good, I promise" Misha re-assured Jensen, kissing the tip of his nose and waited for another nod from his lover, before finally moving back out and pushing back in.

Misha went slowly, thrusting lazily in and out of Jensen, kissing him throughout.

Jensen broke away from Misha lips and gripped his hips tightly, urging Misha closer.

"Oh god…more, move Mish" Jensen moaned, lifting his leg up around Misha.

The change in position sparked something in Jensen and he cried out in pleasure, his eyes rolling back in his head. Misha smirked, knowing he had finally hit the right spot and continued his thrusts, faster and harder than before. He hit that same spot on every thrust.

"FUCK YEAH…oh god baby right there…" Jensen moaned obscenely, his own hips thrusting up to meet with Misha.

Misha chuckled at the word 'baby', but it didn't stop him in his tracks and he picked up the pace, sitting back slightly and thrusting roughly inside of Jensen. He relished in the sight below him, Jensen was sweating and writhing beneath him, his back arching to get closer to Misha. The sight alone nearly tipped Misha over the edge.

He set a punishing pace, dragging blunt fingernails down Jensen's chest and causing him to hiss loudly and grip Misha's hips almost painfully.

"Mish I'm so close"

He leant down, his lips next to Jensen's ear and practically growled.

"Touch yourself Jensen, I want you to come for me" Misha whispered down his lovers ear, sitting back in time to see Jensen reach for his own cock.

Jensen stroked himself fast and firmly to match the pace of Misha's thrusts and soon he was crying out as his orgasm flooded his body. Come shot out all over Jensen's hand and up his tanned stomach and this only fuelled Misha on.

Misha continued thrusting, feeling his own orgasm building, watching a fucked out Jensen below him still basking in the aftershock and still taking whatever Misha was handing to him. This sent Misha over the edge, crying out Jensen's name and spilling deep inside of him. He rocked them both through their orgasms and finally slowed to a stop.

He pulled out of Jensen and rolled beside him on the bed.

"Fuck me" Jensen whispered with a laugh.

"Didn't we just do that?" Misha asked, laughing along with Jensen.

He chuckled, reaching over the bed for his discarded underwear and wiped down his stomach, tossing the boxers aside.

"That right there…was worth waiting a year for." Jensen said, shuffling closer to Misha and leaning over to kiss him sweetly.

Misha hummed in content and broke into a grin, nodding along with Jensen's comment.

"Most definitely."

He pulled Jensen closer and Misha was the first to drift off into a slumber.

"Love you" Jensen muttered, before placing a final kiss on Misha's head, following his example and drifting into a content sleep.

The next morning, Jensen felt a solid weight behind him and hands draped across his waist, kisses being placed on the back of his neck.

He turned over to face Misha and it still felt like a dream, waking up next to the guy he had pined after for a year.

"Morning handsome"

Jensen chuckled and kissed the tip of Misha's nose.

"Morning to you"

Misha leant in and kissed Jensen, their lips moving together perfectly.

"I could get used to this." Jensen said with a content sigh, shuffling closer to the body beside him.

"Yeah well, you better." Misha responded, resting his head on Jensen's shoulder.

In that moment, Jensen finally landed his crush and he had never been happier.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

_**Three months later…**_

"So your first convention, you nervous?" Jensen asked his boyfriend, adjusting his tie.

"Nope, I can't wait" Misha responded with a grin.

"It's brutal out there…there will be a lot of questions and they will try to make you spill the plotline for this season…think you can handle it?" Jensen taunted, slapping Misha on the ass.

Misha grinned and pulled Jensen in for a firm kiss on the lips, before breaking away.

"Absolutely, they don't know who they're dealing with…but they will learn" Misha said with a wink.

Truth be told, Jensen was nervous as hell. This was Misha's first convention and the first one they will attend together, their family, co-stars and friends were well aware of the relationship he and Misha were in now, but the fandom still had no clue.

"Question…are we coming out to these guys anytime soon? They seem pretty smart and they will probably figure it out." Misha enquired as they walked out of their hotel room and knocked for Jared.

"I dunno…I'm not good with big announcements…I don't know how we should go about it…" Jensen rambled and Misha went to speak up before Jensen stopped him.

"…and NO twitter is not a good way to announce our relationship."

"Would I?" Misha said gasping and placing a hand on his heart in mock horror.

"Yes you would" Jared said as he opened the hotel room door.

"Thanks for backing me up Jared"

Misha rolled his eyes and they all headed downstairs.

Jared walked ahead with Clif in front of him, greeting fans that lined the hallways as he passed through.

Misha and Jensen walked behind them, with another guard following. Misha noted the big queue leading to what he assumed was the main hall were the panels took place and the flashes of cameras almost blinded them as they walked past fans.

"Wow, they're enthusiastic" Misha said with a laugh, leaning into Jensen.

"I seriously don't think I can get on a stage and tell them about us, it's kinda daunting." Jensen whispered to Misha.

"Hmm maybe we don't have to, follow my lead." Misha said with a smile.

He grabbed hold of Jensen's hand and held onto it firmly as they walked through the fan filled corridors, earning a collective gasp from the fandom.

Jensen's eyes went wide and he put on a smile, nodding in greeting to the shocked fans as they passed by. Misha held onto his hand firmly and they reached the end of the corridor, Jared raised an eyebrow at them holding hands, but laughed it off with a shake of his head.

Misha finally let go of Jensen's hand after hearing instruction from a member of staff to follow him and for Jensen and Jared to stay here and get ready for their panel.

Suddenly Misha surged forward and planted his lips firmly on Jensen's.

Jensen went completely still, seeing camera flashes going off everywhere and a collective squealing noise coming from the corridors, along with shocked gasps from nearby. Misha pulled away with a big grin on his face and started to follow the staff member down the corridor, leaving a stunned Jensen behind.

"Catch up with you later baby, LOVE YOU" Misha shouted back down the hallway to Jensen, who was now blushing furiously.

The fans screamed loudly and some of them even cheered, seriously?

Jensen raced down the hall after Misha and caught hold of his elbow.

"What the hell was that?"

"That is how one comes out to a fandom…think about it…no awkward speech, no weird celebrity style announcement…that little display will be on tumblr and twitter in seconds, now all we have to do is answer any questions thrown at us today…and we just agree we are in a relationship. No further explanation needed."

Jensen broke into a fit of laughter and pulled Misha into a hug.

"You're a genius."

"You forgot the evil part…" Misha said seriously, before the staff member told him they had to go.

Misha winked at Jensen and his other half made his way back towards Jared, Jensen got out his phone and sent a text to Misha.

_Love you, evil genius. X_

_Love you too…I'll show you just how evil I can be later tonight ;) x_

With that response, Jensen laughed and counted down the minutes until he had his boyfriend alone again.


End file.
